Becoming "I"

Spreading The Truth One Byte At A Time

By Ron Bender© 2008, 2013

As a young man I spent years trying to find who I really was, getting help from others and even professional people.

I suppose That I truly did not believe what God had to say about me. That I was and am His child. Sadly this was the foundation that eventually lead me down some very destructive paths that took me years to become a whole person again. Change was not easy but it is constant in my life now.

I have been a Christian not for the sheer pleasure of worshiping Christ and following Him But because I was overwhelmed with pressures to achieve, be ideal, and make other people happy. I was afraid of failure because my self-esteem was always on the line. I felt guilty if I said no to people and opportunities so I kept trying to do more and more.

I Needed a Christ’s Ambassador

Through my Christian experience God provided me with people who helped me see Him in a new light. I learned how to express my feelings and work through conflicts, attach more deeply in relationships, and set boundaries.

Through the transformation of my mind and restoration of my heart I got free of my false self and came alive as my true self — my God created and Christ-redeemed self — and in the process I discovered the joy of helping others not by trying hard, but “out of the overflow.”

I too became a “Christ’s Ambassador” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

I was at the Bottom of an Old Well

What’s it like to undergo change?

In 2006 I wrote about my personal struggle of going through addiction It tells the story of how through my relationship with "True Ambassadors of Christ" How they found me at the bottom of an old well and set me free to be me!

My experience was very much like David’s in Psalm 40:1-5:

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the [person] who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done.

Becoming “I”

I looked up and into the whites of your eyes

And I saw myself deep inside the bottom of an old well –

Dark

Damp

Dreary

Dirty -

All alone except for your eyes peering from the skies;

Lost until now but still trapped in this living hell.

~

I didn't even know I was down inside there;

I thought it was me who was up on the ground outside -

Successful

Supportive

Spirited

Spotless -

But it couldn’t be me who has looked so good everywhere;

It must be the roles I played so my pain I could hide.

~

This is the real me who is down this old well then.

Those who’ve walked by me just didn't see or hear -

Tears

Tenderness

Trembling

Turmoil -

I reached out to them until I couldn't reach out again;

I remained alone and unknown until you came and waited near.

~

Now your hand reaches way down and I want to reach way high;

I’m trying to trust again because I need what you offer -

Light

Love

Life

Laughter -

Please keep looking and waiting and reaching for Christ's Ambassadors they are around. The truth is there are few people who have you as there primary objective. Many only wish to promote there views and set themselves up as little gods. Only Jesus can reach your deepest pain. Only He can turn your broken life into a refreshing well. "He who scalped you in your mothers womb" He who knows your every thought. Jesus is the living water He alone can turn your old musty well into a well into life giving waters. If you let Him!

 

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Thank you!

Ron

Ronald Bender- President/CEO Bender Consulting.~http://www.benderbytes.net/bender_consult